(I wrote this several weeks ago. Not sure the exact date)
Just one of those things you don't want to forget...
Tracker and I were snuggling in bed after Ryan went to work this morning.
He had a big blowout. (one of the best things he does)
Good thing it was on Ryan's side of the bed :)
I decided to just get in the shower with him and we could both just get ready for the day.
He is so big compared to our days of standing in the shower until the water turned cold when he would cry for hours. He couldn't hold his head up then. He was so tiny and I was so worried I was going to drop his slippery body. Now he holds his head up. He moves. and I am even more worried he will do one of those amazing back arch moves and ill lose my grip. He loves warm warm water like his Mum. The steamier the better. He just rested his head on my shoulder as the water hit his back. His nose is so stuffy... Thanks to teeth coming in and a cold... I can feel the snot dripping from his nose. I think it felt good that he could breathe for a bit. He would then sit up and watch the water fall. He would reach out his hand and touch it. Then he got brave and leaned into it. The water would hit his head and he would pull back. Then lean in further and the water got on his head and dripped into his face. It took his breath away for a minute as he pulled back. He looked at me and got the biggest smile. He did it again and again. Leaning forward and pulling back. Water running down his face. When he would pull away water would drip off his eye lashes. He would blink fast and rub his eyes. He kept laughing and smiling. Then he reaches for the water again. I cup my hand so water gathers and he can touch the water. He hits my hand and laughs when the water splashes everywhere. I take his hand and make it into a cup as well so water gathers. He doesn't move. He doesn't try to shake his hand. He just holds still as the water rises in his little hand and he just watches it. It runs over both our hands and he still doesn't move. He keeps looking at me and smiling.
He cuddles up to me again and nuzzles into my neck. He loves the water on his back.
I think about my LONG to-do list for the day but force myself to push it out of my head. This is one of those moments I cant get back. This is one of those times I want to soak up and just be present for.
So we stand there.
I keep turning the cold water down and the warm water up.
He snuggles me then he dips his head in the water then he cups his hand in the water.
Over and over.
Until the water gets cold.
Not just chilly.
We were not ready yet.
We stayed until it was cold.
I thank God for every moment with this boy. Every breath. Every little thing he does that makes me stop in my tracks and see what a beautiful life I have. He is incredible. I cant believe how much I love him. I cant believe how much he has taught me. I love seeing the world through him. How simple and perfect and pure everything is. No bad. No worry. No fear.
He is my world and I cant believe I am lucky enough that he picked me.
